GWAR Scumdogs of the Universe Album Review

Gwar - Scumdogs of the Universe (1990)

Members:

Dave Brockie (Oderus Urungus) - lead vocals

Dewey Rowell (Flattus Maximus) - lead guitar, backing vocals

Mike Derks (Balsac the Jaws of Death) - rhythm guitar, backing vocals

Michael Bishop (Beefcake the Mighty) - bass, backing vocals; lead vocals on "Cool Place to Park"

Brad Roberts (Jizmak Da Gusha) - drums

Danielle Stampe (Slymenstra Hymen) - backing vocals

Chuck Varga (Sexecutioner) - vocals on "Sexecutioner"

Don Drakulich (Sleazy P. Martini) - vocals on "Slaughterama"

Factoid:

Scumdogs of the Universe is the second album by satirical shock rock band Gwar. The album is their first album on Metal Blade Records and was released on January 8, 1990. To date, it is the band's best-selling album.

The Review:

“I’m on this planet, I’m running amok, I should give a shit, but I don’t give a fuck!”

Metal, as a genre, is at its best when its bands aren’t taking themselves too seriously. Certainly there is room for topics of gravity; in fact, every musician should be encouraged to explore these for themselves. But in the realm of heavy metal, it is rarely a good idea to completely abandon its less-serious façade, as it is that “fun,” head-banging, beer-drinking element that has united the great majority of metal’s fans the world over. However the reverse is also true. Never should a so-called “joke” band devolve to the point that there isn’t anything to gain from listening to it (see: The Great Kat, a lot of grindcore) other than a brief chuckle. It is for this reason that I usually abstain from the legion of travelling comedy troupes posing as musicians: I want to listen to music, not a slapstick routine. However bands that have a theatrical edge to me are very enjoyable, but that's a different story than this one.

GWAR is a pretty notable exception. With their over-the-top stage antics, elaborate costumes, and filthy, juvenile humor, they demand to be noticed. And with their infectiously catchy riffs and punk-inspired recklessness, the demand to be listened to also. Though their catalogue wavers in quality, their second album, Scumdogs of the Universe, is an essential tableau of one of the most musically proficient shock-metal outfits in all of history.

Scumdogs sees the intergalactic space misfits refining their punky spatter into catchy, coherent heavy metal of all shapes and sizes, delivered in a crude packaging that is as entertaining as it is offensive to the faint of heart. Full disclosure: anyone who knows me knows why Hell-O is not my favorite album of theirs and could tell you that a primary reason I dislike that album (the band’s unsavory sense of humor) is one of the exact reasons that I enjoy Scumdogs. Hypocrisy, perhaps? I'd like to think it's a bit deeper than that, because while Hell-O was a dirty, repulsive punk album, Scumdogs is nothing less than dirty, repulsive HEAVY METAL, where I’m willing to allow a little gimmicky gross-out tomfoolery to occur as long as the band is metal thrashing mad. It’s like hearing the same joke told by two different comedians: the words may be the same, but the delivery makes all the difference.

In this case, the better musical delivery for the GWAR mythos is obviously metal. And in Scumdogs’ case, it’s basically thrash metal, with a side of punk. And not hardcore punk: this is directly descended from the Ramones/Sex Pistols style punk. 

Just listen to some of the vocal harmonies and the various “ooh” and “ohs” delivered by Oderus. But otherwise, it’s mostly mid-paced thrash brilliance, riffs like those of “The Salaminizer,” “Horror of Yig,” or “Maggots,” M.O.D. would kill for, and even Exodus would probably be a bit envious of them. For an unserious, marketing experiment, GWAR are surprisingly adept musicians and formidable metalheads. And while their mid-era albums would be marked by experimentation and parodies of other forms of music, here it’s pretty consistently awesome riffage, with the only stylistic variation occurring in some doomy sections, like those of “Love Surgery” or “Sexicutioner” (hilariously sung by Sexicutioner, one of the many characters in the GWAR universe), Oderus even commenting on the mood of the former during one particularly grim moment (“Ooooh scary!”). Another ‘different’ track is “Slaughterama,” sung by the band’s manager Sleazy P. Martini and itself more of a skit than a song in its comically violent lyrical presentation, but it still rules. Unlike most of GWAR’s other albums, there isn’t a weak track in the lot.

“But what good is all the violence in the world, unless it is tempered with limitless sex? Bring on the limitless sex object!”

However, the true brilliance of the album is how, despite the extreme vulgarity in the lyrics, every song is as infectiously catchy as venereal disease. Which, as it happens, is common subject matter throughout the album. Take a sample line like “Your socks they smell, your feet they stink, you never take a bath!” from their anthem “Sick of You.” Could you ever imagine yourself singing along to such a corny lyric? From any other band, probably not, but I assure you, with GWAR you pretty much haven’t a choice. Same goes for raunchier tunes like “Black and Huge”(a track redone from their debut...and done much better by the way)and “King Queen,” so if you’re one of those who absentmindedly find themselves singing in public places, you might want to think twice before listening, lest you belt out “Gay apparel! You put it on, put it on!” in mixed company. And sometimes it’s not even that it’s simply catchy music, sometimes it’s just that it’s freakin’ epic. The bridge bit of “Sexicutioner” has a dramatic slow part with female vocal harmonies which would sound great no matter what band was playing it, but here, with the ridiculous lyrics (“I am from France, and when you are in France, you pull down your pants!”), the result is something so beautifully absurd that it defies all logic. Joke bands aren’t supposed to be this musical. Quality musicians aren’t supposed to be this hilarious. I haven’t heard a band yet that captures this balance in quite the same way GWAR does.

Of course, not everyone has a sense of humor, and there’s a fairly good chance that someone (read: pussies) could be offended by taking the band too seriously (or in this case, even the slightest bit seriously). After all, every GWAR album is a learning experience even for fans and it takes time for the band’s music to really adhere to your tastes. But Scumdogs is the most immediately palatable and the most consistently enjoyable of their albums, as well as one of the most quotable (seriously, read them lyrics). It’s the place to start if you want to know what all the racket is about.

Score: 5/5